Author Archives: les_waggoner

Unique Little Egg

The intricacies… independent and unique.

He sent the order in this morning.

The letter next to her only specified: “Something intellectual and creative.” He often let her have the reins with the eggs, long ago realizing she was more than capable.

She sighs, but a smile spreads across her face.

She loves this… sort of artwork. She has never met another who does it the same as she does. She is meticulous, careful, measured.

But also, she enjoys flaws… though she isn’t sure she can really call them flaws if they are intentional.
She places the finished egg in the basket lined with soft linens.

A soft chime comes from outside her window. She stands and opens the window. She walks back to the table and retrieves the basket.

The basket is filled with intricately designed eggs, each the same, but uniquely different.

She looks out the window, then, as the winds of time blow past, she places the basket in the beak of the stork.

The Park

The damn birds… the incessant cooing, if Patty could think of a better punishment… she would.

She could not forget her little Katie’s laughter from the back seat. Her daughter, so bright and joyful.

They had been laughing about something, try though she did, she could never recall what.

The pigeons filled the road ahead and she slowed through the intersection as the flock took flight… filling the air and blocking her view ahead.

The car had slowed to almost a stop, but the maintenance truck, it had traveled in the fastest slow motion she had ever known.

She only saw it briefly as her daughter screamed then went quiet.

They had been on their way to the park… this park… and now.

Now she comes here every day. She sits on this bench, the very bench she and Katie would sit on.

This is the only way she can remember.

The buttery aroma of the popcorn drifts about the park as she sits immobile and heartbroken.

Her hand deep in the bag, now empty. The constant ring of the popcorn vendors popper, comforting and absurdly invasive at the same time.

The child’s laughter from the playground behind her, always grated on her.

She wanted to go over and tell them to go home, or go somewhere else, she didn’t care where. She just needed them gone.

Ugh… her back still feels stiff. She rotated her head about her neck, but with no real relief.

The jogger, what was her name… Sarah? Sarah… she knows the story and she tries to comfort Patty each day.

Today was no exception, the pigeons pecking at her feet, shooed away by Sarah.

Sarah sat next to Patty, holding her hand in one of hers, the other around her wrist, as if to reinforce that she would steady her if needed.

Sarah came and went, but today she went to the popcorn stand. A bit unusual for the health nut Sarah was but not unprecedented.

Laughter.

“Ugh…”

Children laughing no longer seemed a blessing.

Just go… away…

She looked toward the playground, the laughter continued.

She could not see the child, and an adult was no where to be seen.

She sounds to much like Katie… she needs to go…

Patty struggled, almost didn’t but finally decided to do something… anything…

She crossed the green grass toward the park.

The laughter of the little girl seemed to come from somewhere behind the slide.

The hard cold metal of the slide turned her stomach a little.

She can’t get the twisted metal of the car in the aftermath of the wreck.

She stepped into the playground, the slide directly in front of her.

Some toy, reaching up out of the sand punctured her foot.

“Her bare foot?” she thought as she twisted through the fall, unable to stop the rushing corner of the hard metal slide.

Her head… she could feel it bounce off the corner and her body went limp moments before the world faded to black.

Her eyes slowly opened. Her angel, her lovely little angel Katie met her with a bright smile. Katie giggled with joy. A nurse, her name tag… Sarah… held her wrist.

Sarah looked down at Patty.

“Katie has been here every day with popcorn. Every day for six weeks since the accident. We are so glad you pulled through. Welcome back, Patty.”

The Real Power

Detective Morris glared across the interrogation table.

“You said you were where, Friday night?” He said, for the umpteenth time.

The smug grin on the perp’s face… matched only by the eerie silence. That face, highlighted in red from the light in the hall, occasionally flickered with someone’s passing.

Ugh. Hours. He didn’t recall right off, how many, but it was a lot.

The suspect was guilty, his grin and silence were all he needed to know that.

“…Friday night, where were you?” His voice gruff and growling.

Grabbing the chair, Morris flipped it around, dropping it loudly onto the concrete floor.

As the cavernous echo reverberated and died, the suspect finally shifted in his seat.

He leaned forward, the grin gone from his face. Morris leaned in, listening intently.

Morris felt his head spin… “Your daughter… pretty little… Sarah. Sarah.. Right?”

The grin returned in full force. “She goes to Ethan Elementary… Walks down sixth street to your house… third one on the right… yeah? Yeah.”

The putrid feeling of evil exuded from this man.

His last thought as he reached for the cuff key, was of his darling Sarah.

Grabbing the wrist of the perp he reached out with the key, twisting it and freeing the suspect. He could feel the heat building in his hand, his fingers numbing. He dropped the key onto the floor next to the evil little man.

Retrieving the key the perp unlocked the other wrist, then tossed the key onto the table grinning, he turned to Morris.

The suspects eyes grew wide and the color drained from his face.

The deep growl from Morris cut through the boy as urine flowed to the floor, “And that… is exactly why you’re here!” Morris’s dagger toothed grin spread, splitting the dark red leathery skin of the Detective’s face. The ivory horns practically glowing…

Outside the Lighthouse

Out across the sea, the beam of light sweeps, searching… guiding… waiting for someone to see.

The rain pelts the windows, hammering in sheets and droves.

The storm rages.

His coffee… different… a slight hint of salt and iron.

He had emptied the last of his bottled water yesterday, so he was using water from the tap.

His chair, comfortable, in fact… more comfortable than he could remember.

The rain rolled across the glass in waves, like people at a ball game, or a concert perhaps.

It slid across, methodical then pelted the glass unevenly for a while, only to once again roll across.

The tea kettle started squealing, loud, but with varying pitch as the ancient stove elements heated, then cooled in slow succession.

Struggling, he worked his way out of the overstuffed chair, and stood.

A sip of coffee. Good… real good… warm and slightly metallic.

Another quick sip, ill timed with his breath, caused him to cough… the warm coffee spewed across the room.

He looked around in mild disgust as he headed for the stairs in search of a towel.

A towel… and to turn that incessant squeal off.

He followed the spiral staircase, feeling a bit unsteady, he grasped the handrail and longed for the comfort of the chair.

In the kitchen, he felt his way through the darkness to the stove.

The window outlined in flashes of light through and around the shutters and curtains occasionally lighting the scene.

He turned off the stove, and reached for a towel.

The rain murmured outside, the light outside the window, somehow was steady and bright.

He looked down at the coffee cup in his hand as he brought it up for a sip.

As he shifted the curtain and flung the shutters wide, he coughed again, spewing coffee.

Something slammed into his chest and he coughed again, then filled his lungs with air as he looked out…

…into the face of the paramedic, now dripping with blood as his cough sprayed him again.

“Welcome back,” the paramedic grinned in satisfaction.

Just In Time

The fog-laden evening chilled him to the bone as he stood beneath the street lamp.

“I am getting to old for this,” he mutters.

The juxtaposing hard soft glow of the lamps created an eerie duality of light on the street. The long

shadows dancing in the wind blown lamplight. The headlights shine on him briefly as the vehicle passes.

He checked his watch and pulled his cloak tighter against the cold.

The ache in his back. He leaned over and touches his toes to stretch the muscles, then placed his hands in the small of his back and leaned back, as far as he could.

The pop was almost audible as his spine realigned.

He sighed in relief.

Looking at his watch, he finally heard the approach in the distance.

He never knew when this she might tire of this.

Her incessant need to keep tabs on him was annoying, but he had long ago resigned himself.

She had little sense of humor, but she was pleasant to look at. They had played this game for as long as he could remember, and he was pushing… uh… well lets just say he was much older than the young lady.

He reached down and picked up the glass that he had set on the walk beside him.

She approached her hands flying, knitting, crocheting…or something else, he was never quite sure, and truthfully not that interested.

“Evening!” He said cheerfully. “Fancy meeting a girl like you in a place like this.”

Hand slowly demonstrating the magnificent surroundings, well… at least to him.

She winked. Reached out a hand containing a small piece of thread.

“Father,” she said as he took the thread.

Beautiful as ever he thought. He dearly enjoyed the moments, brief though they were.

“Fate, same time next year?” he smiled as he and his hourglass slowly disappeared.

Special Delivery

The cracked sidewalk lead up to the creaky steps of the old Victorian house.

He took a deep breath… and began walking up to the porch just above the stairs.

With each step it felt like he was walking in molasses, slowly his legs felt heavier the closer he got.

At the steps he struggled to lift his leg. Placing it on the step, he struggled to lift the other as the step creaked and groaned under him.

Twice more he struggled, twice more he climbed. Now, on the porch, he could see the note on the door. “Ring for delivery.”

The postman reached behind his back, fondling the bloody knife. The last victim had struggled and screamed. His crooked smile spread as he pushed the button and heard the ding dong of the bell.

He could see the little girl approach the door.

His hand closed on the knife as he stood holding the package. The door opened and the little girl stepped out. She smiled at the man.

She reached for the package and his hand swung the knife as the girl brushed his hand with hers.

The scene explodes in white bright, the man feels at peace, at last, his anger swept away.

The eerie soft words faded in the air. “Special delivery…” The young girl said.

You Never Saw It Coming

The young waitress sat at the counter, her tips laid out in front of her as she counted.

Old county songs, soft in the background, as she felt around for her glasses.

A movement from the corner caught her attention.

The last booth, the last customer… creepy. The guy seemed to be staring at her all night, but when she looked…

“I wish… he would just… leave,” she thought.

The creaks and groans of the diner always grated on her.

And the guy in the corner was not helping.

She turned and opened the register, trading her tips for larger bills.

As the drawer dinged shut, the ringing of the bell above the door caused her to start.

Oh…

She could see Jerry, the cook through the window as he walked out to his car.

Her heart sank.

She snuck a glance toward the corner, then, finding the man standing, her heart stopped.

The man reached into his pocket, slowly, deliberately, as he slowly sauntered in her direction. She diverted her gaze, maybe…

She saw his shoes as he stopped in front of her.

As the metal pressed against her hand, the man spoke.

“Annie,” he said softly. “You forgot your glasses again.”

He reached down and took her hand, placing her glass…

It’s Not Just Sexual…

[Verse 1]
Your visage woven in subconcious memes,
It seems you meander through my dreams,
Like a goddess your spirit beams
Making me wonder, do you still ponder
If I still have a place for you to sit.

[CHORUS]
It’s NOT JUST SEXUAL,
Though your sexuality caused my heart to race,
And our minds entwined in a warm embrace.

[Verse 2]
If I could only feel your touch, with such
emotion, it feels so much
like a whirlwind through my soul
binding wounds and making whole,
Restore my heart with your alluring wit.

[CHORUS]
It’s NOT JUST SEXUAL,
Though your sexuality caused my heart to race,
And our minds entwined in a warm embrace.

[Verse 2 Revisited]
If I could only feel your touch, with such
emotion, it feels so much
like a whirlwind through my soul
binding wounds and making whole,
Restore my heart with your alluring wit.

[CHORUS]
It’s NOT JUST SEXUAL,
Though your sexuality caused my heart to race,
And our minds entwined in a warm embrace.

[Verse 3]
In your presence, I felt replete,
I strived always to offer you a seat
Had you taken I would have been amazed
My heart and soul like a village raised
But not in a bad way, I always wanted it.

[CHORUS]
It’s NOT JUST SEXUAL,
A bond that transcended the physical affection.
In you, I found a muse and a friend.
Your legacy, an eternal light that will never end.

[Verse 4]
Your body, vivid and bold, sultry as you danced.
Your beauty and grace leaving my soul entranced.
As your beauty took my breath away,
your mind was a marvel, lighting up my day.

[Bridge]
Your absence, a void in my heart, taking its toll.
The echoes still subtly reverberate through my soul.
Consistently in my every thought and phrase,
Your radiance still guides me through life’s intricate maze.

[CHORUS]
It’s NOT JUST SEXUAL,
A bond that transcended the physical affection.
In you, I found a muse and a friend.
Your legacy, an eternal light that will never end.

It’s not JUST sexual
(sexual)…
(sexual)…
It’s not JUST sexual
(sexual)…
(sexual)…
You have an eternal light that will never end.

The Hidden Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO)

Introduction

Dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO) is a chemical that is pervasive in our environment and present in almost all human ingestible food. Despite its ubiquitous presence, DHMO has several potentially dangerous effects that have not been adequately addressed by regulatory bodies such as the FDA. The use of pseudo-science to shift the focus of substances such as this to make them appear more or less dangerous than science would indicate is a critical component in understanding what their true impact is.

Health Risks Associated with DHMO

Respiratory Issues

In sufficient quantities, DHMO can cause severe breathing difficulties. Inhaling DHMO can lead to a cessation of breathing and even death.

Addiction

DHMO is incredibly addictive. If deprived of this substance, humans experience severe withdrawal symptoms and ultimately death.

Tissue Damage

Prolonged exposure to DHMO in certain forms can cause significant tissue damage.

Exposure to the Liquid Form:
Prolonged contact with liquid DHMO can cause skin irritation and damage.

Exposure to the Solid Form:
Contact with solid DHMO can cause severe frostbite and tissue damage.

Exposure to the Gaseous Form:
Inhalation of gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns and respiratory tract damage.

Environmental Impact of DHMO

Soil Erosion

DHMO contributes significantly to soil erosion, disrupting ecosystems and agricultural stability.

Major Component of Acid Rain

DHMO is a major component of acid rain, which can damage forests, aquatic environments, and infrastructure.

Nutrient Recycling

In large quantities, DHMO can prevent the natural process of nutrient recycling.

Pest Control

Heavy DHMO presence can prevent natural pest control processes.

Habitat Creation

Excessive DHMO can obstruct the creation of naturally diverse animal habitats.

Germination of Seeds

Large amounts of DHMO can inhibit the germination of many plants.

Fuel Buildup

DHMO can prevent the natural reduction of organic debris.

Biodiversity

Large amounts of DHMO can suppress biodiversity.

New Plant Growth

High levels of DHMO can inhibit new plant growth.

FDA and Regulatory Oversight

The FDA has long ignored the inclusion of DHMO in almost all human ingestible food, not only failing to require further investigation, but has also allowed the listing of DHMO to be excluded from warnings and ingredients of most food products. Despite its known risks, DHMO is allowed to be used in food production and processing without any significant regulatory oversight. The addictive nature of DHMO is well acknowledged, yet it remains a staple in our diet, indicating a failure to protect public health.

The Call for Action

Given the myriad of risks associated with DHMO, it is clear that immediate action is needed. We propose a complete ban on DHMO in all food products. It’s time to address this overlooked threat and remove DHMO from our food supply to safeguard our health and environment.

Revelation

Upon reviewing the evidence, it becomes apparent that DHMO is a significant risk, with a long history of being either ignored or actively allowed by almost all regulatory bodies.

Final Thoughts:

Understanding the effects of this chemical compound is imperative for understanding why and how it should be used and in what quantities it is safe to consume. But what is DHMO really? It’s commonly known as water (H₂O). While the above points about DHMO might seem alarming, they illustrate the necessity of water in our lives and the importance of understanding scientific information in context.


Review of Points in the Context of Water

Respiratory Issues

Twisted Fact: “In sufficient quantities, such as during a deluge, DHMO can cause severe breathing difficulties. Inhaling DHMO can lead to a cessation of breathing and even death.”
Truth: Water, when inhaled, can cause drowning, but it is essential for life.

Addiction

Twisted Fact: “DHMO is incredibly addictive. If deprived of this substance, humans experience severe withdrawal symptoms and ultimately death.”
Truth: Water is essential for life; dehydration can lead to severe health issues, but water itself is not addictive.

Tissue Damage

Exposure to the Liquid Form

Twisted Fact: “Prolonged contact with liquid DHMO can cause skin irritation and damage.”
Truth: Water at extreme temperatures can cause damage, but it is necessary for hydration and overall health.

Exposure to the Solid Form

Twisted Fact: “Contact with solid DHMO can cause severe frostbite and tissue damage.”
Truth: Ice can cause frostbite, but it is a natural state of water that plays a role in various ecological processes.

Exposure to the Gaseous Form

Twisted Fact: “Inhalation of gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns and respiratory tract damage.”
Truth: Steam can cause burns due to its high temperature, but it is also a natural process of the water cycle.

Environmental Impact

Soil Erosion

Twisted Fact: “DHMO contributes significantly to soil erosion, disrupting ecosystems and agricultural stability.”
Truth: Water can cause soil erosion, which is a natural part of landscape formation, and is essential for life.

Major Component of Acid Rain

Twisted Fact: “DHMO is a major component of acid rain, which can damage forests, aquatic environments, and infrastructure.”
Truth: Water is a component of rain, and while acid rain can be harmful, it is due to pollutants, not the water itself.

Nutrient Recycling

Twisted Fact: “In large quantities, DHMO can prevent the natural process of nutrient recycling.”
Truth: High amounts of water can wash away nutrients, but rain is a natural process essential for nutrient cycling.

Pest Control

Twisted Fact: “Heavy DHMO presence can prevent natural pest control processes.”
Truth: Water can disrupt pest populations by altering habitats, but it is essential for maintaining healthy ecosystems.

Habitat Creation

Twisted Fact: “Excessive DHMO can obstruct the creation of naturally diverse animal habitats.”
Truth: Water supports diverse habitats, though excessive amounts can alter environmental conditions temporarily.

Germination of Seeds

Twisted Fact: “Large amounts of DHMO can inhibit the germination of many plants.”
Truth: Excessive water can hinder germination, but water is necessary for most plant growth.

Fuel Buildup

Twisted Fact: “DHMO can prevent the natural reduction of organic debris.”
Truth: Excessive water can hinder the reduction of organic debris, but water is part of the natural decay process.

Biodiversity

Twisted Fact: “Large amounts of DHMO can suppress biodiversity.”
Truth: Water is vital for supporting biodiversity, though excessive amounts can temporarily change habitats.

New Plant Growth

Twisted Fact: “High levels of DHMO can inhibit new plant growth.”
Truth: Excessive water can hinder new plant growth, but water is essential for plant life.

Conclusion

This exercise demonstrates how easily scientific facts can be presented in a misleading way. Water is essential for life, and its presence in food and the environment is not only safe but necessary. Let’s approach scientific discussions with critical thinking and a demand for context, ensuring that we understand the true nature of the substances we encounter daily.